If love was enough

If love was enough 09/2023 If love were enough there would be no wars, No loud booms followed by terrifying screams, the kind that haunts you for life. There would be no violence, no hatred or fear. No one would become ill or die, and we would love more. So.Much.More.Love.❤️ There would be no silent suffering by the young girl in the bathroom stall, purging until her emotions are dull and she lay down on the dirty floor in exhaustion. She tries to find peace. If love were enough I could save him from his delusions. I would tell him he was and is good enough, and that his heart is pure. I would tell him he can come back from this and still live a beautiful life. That it’s not all ruined and that he deserves to be happy. He will be happy again if he can just fight a little harder to get through this difficult stage. If love were enough he would have lived for forever, because his soul was pure. He was pure. He deserved to be free. Maybe he is free now, and it is better. He is no longer in pain. If love were enough I could save her from herself and her demons. I could show her the way because I have journeyed it often myself and somehow managed to pull through to the other side. She tries to find freedom. If love were enough I would take your pain from you. Because at this point I’ve learned how to better manage it, and then at least one of us would be without pain. And you would be FREE. That silent but loud self-hatred is suffocating you to the point of no return. If only we could be so lucky. Wanting to die but still trying to live. Trying to choose which way to go. The dark vastness of pain that feels never ending. That kind you are sure has to be the most pain you could ever possibly feel. Until it isn’t. And it continues to suffocate you one-single-breath at a time, until you are sure this must be the last time... You couldn’t possibly take much more... Yet, you do. Your strength endures and you become different… Stronger?.. or something.. When you’ve hit a wall harder than you ever thought you could, but you charge it because WHAT OTHER OPTION DO YOU HAVE. There is only one direction to go, and that is up. Until you’re back in the ground, into the earth restarting back in the circle of life. It always comes down to one thing in the end, are you going to fight, or are you going to let this take you out. When life gets difficult, scary, or impossible theres only one direction to go, and that is up. Life hurls things at us and it’s our job to react to them. How will we respond? What is your next move. Each next move ensures your success or your demise. Fight or DIE. Those are your options. In this game of life once you realize that every single thing that happens to you is a redirection of energy to the next thing. Where are you going to put that energy. When things get heavy and lifes pains seem insurmountable, what is the next right thing to do. Maybe it is to just rest. Maybe it is to just make some tea. Maybe it is to go for a walk. And try to keep doing the next right thing that fuels your soul in the direction you desire to go. In this moment only. And then the next. Sometimes we can get trapped in the how and why of life, which matters. What it all means… But action is how we change our circumstances and how we make progress. If only within ourselves. But usually things tend to ripple like the ocean waves, and a little more positive energy for ourselves can lead to a shift in a family or a community. I may not be able to take your pain from you, but I can share my story about how I have been blessed with having second, third, 20th chances and somehow made it out alive. And try to be content with my journey. Even, dare i say, happy. Maybe it can give you some hope that your story can also surprise you, and things will be ok. For some of us who “feel many things”, and are often “nudged” by our emotions (using the word “ruled” seems aggressive for such a sensitive and emotional act, am I right?), sometimes we can feel things too strongly and or feel unsure if our “intuitions” are past traumas or if they are our truth. Usually I have come to find that when I listen to that part of me that we are often taught to stifle, I find a much truer self, and a love, and appreciation for myself. And that everything is working out for the greater good. When I’ve been able to silence the pain, for I realized we don’t have to suffer through that any longer. We have a choice. Only I am in control of my emotions No one else can take my pain from me No one can give me peace It is up to me. I have to say NO to things I do not want and actively pursue the things I need. I AM IN CONTROL. I demand more for myself. A life that is free. If love was enough I would never have to write this, because you would already know how perfect you are, and you would be at peace