Yes Universe, you have my attention now✨✨

Yes Universe, you have my attention now✨✨

Today is the day after Christmas in the epic year of 2021, and it is also my birthday!! 🎂 Thanks for all my well wishes today friends!! It made me feel so loved! 😻

As I enter my 35th year on this beautiful earth, I am hopeful, determined, and frankly pretty terrified. But then, how is that different from any other year?

Oh, but it is… I was really trying to avoid the obligatory life change social media post but honestly, this is the quickest way to reach out to all my loved ones. And it’s also therapeutic. Like ripping off a very heavy, annoyingly sticky band aid. Or group therapy. Let’s just get it out there for God and everyone to know.

Dear social media world, to everybody and nobody in particular, I have cancer! Yay me. But, you know what, I’m gonna grab this cancer by the boob and come out on top. Cancer jokes, am I right. At times they are the only thing bringing us laughter. Other times they just make you cry.

On December 1st my world changed, our entire universe shifted and we’ve been trying to make sense of it all and be strong. Half-hearing those words “You have cancer” has already, in a mere 26 days, changed my life as well as that of my wife, our families, and our friends. And hearing it or saying the word just feels like a dream. It all feels like a bad dream that simply must be a mistake.

But not to worry, this Christmas baby believes in the Christmas spirit and magic of the holidays! They are going to propel me through this year all the way to next holiday season. Fueled by pumpkin spice latte, Elf magic and Santa’s reindeer as my emotional support animals. I will get a cancer survivor tattoo to tell the tale of how we kicked cancers ass.

My official diagnosis is “triple negative invasive ductal carcinoma” which is a lot of words for “bad”. It is Stage 2, considered “aggressive”, but my prognosis is VERY good and all my doctors are confident I will survive and in a couple years this will be a blip in our lives. I am young and we caught it early. The best news is my Brca test is negative and they don’t think the cancer has invaded the lymphnodes yet.

Since finding the lump, I have been at almost daily doctors offices, appointments with over 5+ doctors, nearly 10 elaborate tests, 1 surgery for the chemo port placement, and have spent over $5000 out of pocket in medical bills. In approximately one month. And this is with good medical coverage (Thank God).

I had my chemo port placed last week and I am supposed to begin chemo this week for approximately 6+ months or 16 treatments, then surgery for a double mastectomy and expanders, targeted radiation and then reconstructive surgery. So, it looks like at least I’ll get a boob job out of this deal! I didn’t think I needed one but now that I will, it’s the silver lining! Looking up my options has become a new pastime, as the hope of a cancer free, healthy, and if I’m lucky, hot body is going to help get me through.

Being a Christmas baby people have always asked me “does it suck having your birthday at Christmas time because you get jipped when people try to give you combo gifts ?”

I always laugh and say no (even though it has definitely happened!) and say I was lucky because my parents would make it a point to throw me a birthday party during the summertime so it felt like my own special birthday, which I loved, and appreciated since my friends couldn’t ever hang out on my actual birthday. I’ve always said that even still, I prefer my true birthday because it’s special, and it’s during the holiday season and I love that time of year. I’m a true Christmas baby. I love the energy, the lights, the festiveness, families and friends getting together, and just the overall excitement of the season. This year has been a curveball for multiple reasons and I’m asking everyone to double down on my Christmas and birthday gifts this year, I need all the prayers and positive energy or whatever spirituality you believe in, as this next year will prove to be life on life’s terms, and if the last month has shown me anything, is that this will be a hell of a journey.

Maybe we can have a birthday party for me in the summer time again, and we can all it the Christmas in July remission party! Or boob job party!

All I want for Christmas this year is to grab cancer by the jingle bells .🎄

All I want for my birthday is to be cancer free!!

All I want for the new year 2022 is to be a cancer “Survivor” and not a victim.

As someone who has lived many lifetimes already in this world, I’ve learned lessons, worked hard, persevered and always end up stronger. I’ve bounced around from phase to phase and city and lifestyles and friends.. I’ll try anything once or three times, and while I’ve made mistakes and caused pain, and I’ve endured pain, I try to be a good person. I believe I will get thru this and whatever the lessons I’m meant to learn I will.

Yes Universe, you have my attention now.

Stop now and hear me when I say *THIS IS YOUR SIGN* to do an at home self-examination, NOW, no matter your age. And to continue them regularly, get to know your body and what is normal vs not normal. Seek a physician’s care with any concerning spots and follow up with a mammogram and ultrasound where recommended. Get second opinions if you need to. Get a Brca gene test. Get your families cancer and health history. Just be diligent with your health. We get one body for this lifetime, we need to treat them better.

Thankfully, because I lost 70 lbs this year and started taking better care of myself I was able to feel the lump and made an appointment with my doctor the next morning and was in the office same day. Also thankfully, because I have had a few substantial medical conditions throughout the years I don’t procrastinate on medical issues. I go and get it checked. Do this. Do not wait. They are recommending mammograms sooner than age 40 now, and all the doctors I’ve seen have all said the same thing, that more and more younger people are getting breast cancer, and cancers in general.

Lastly, thankfully, I’m in some of the best shape and health of my life which makes my body the best chance at fighting this disease out of my body. There are small victories here and we are both sure that everything is going to be fine and we are going to come out of it stronger than ever.

My angel of a wife Amy has been with me every step of the way, holding my hand, while we navigate our newest “new normal.” She has been my rock and she has been so strong. I know she will need as much support as I do, but she won’t ask for it. So, if everyone can check on her too, I would appreciate it. She is a saint and I am so lucky to have her.

Thank you for the support for those who have been there and those who show up. It’s been difficult keeping up with everything but we appreciate the support and the love. I’m sorry I haven’t reached out to everyone individually, but please understand this is easier. If you have any extra positive energy you can send our way, it would be greatly received.

And also, if I haven’t told you in a while, I love you and I’m grateful that I know you, or that I did at some point because you helped shape the person that I am.

Or maybe we haven’t even met yet but we’re going to be soul friends. Because even in the short time with this diagnosis and complete life overhaul, I do see how it changes you. It has to. I’ve gone through many times of personal transformation in my life, and I love a reveal and a good “before and after” photo. One of my favorite quotes is “There becomes a time where your soul demands change within you.” And this is definitely that.

I cant wait to see the person this journey will mold me into. We’re not even in the thick of it yet but it’s already teaching me how quickly everything can change and how important it is to try to enjoy everything in the moment and live free.

If you reach out to me but I don’t respond or it’s delayed, just know that I’m really doing the best I can and I will try to get back to you.

I don’t know why this is all happening but I know it will be ok.

“It’ll all be ok in the end, if it’s not ok, then it’s not the end!”

I’ve always believed this, and even more now.

And to finish, as said by one of my favorite writers Glennon Doyle “We can do hard things.”

Ready for the journey. Let’s do this.

Much love, Jess💟